Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Even when I don't like him


I love him.


Lately, he loves to play the game, "Do you love me when I______?" Sometimes he fills in the blanks with things like "when it's dark?" or "when I'm at school?" But usually he fills in the blank with something more like, "when I pick my nose?" or "when I hit my brother?"


Of course I always respond with an enthusiastic, "YES! I love you all of the time. Always and Forever!" And while I do always love him with all of my heart, it's sometimes really hard to enjoy his company. Today was one of those days that I just didn't like him very much. I hate, hate, HATE to say that, but it's true.


When he's in a good mood, he is the most charming little boy that you could ever want to meet. But when he's being the worst version of his three-year-old self, I just want to scream! I know that I am not the first mother to have said this.


Trust me.


I know.


But I am living this right. now. and it's hard. Hearing, "Wait 'til he's a teenager." or "It gets even harder." are not helpful statements in this phase of my life. I want to enjoy him always. I want to always feel truly is tappreciative of the gift that he o my life. When I see other adults who don't *really* know him that are super annoyed by his behavior, I just want to hide. I wish that they could see the precious little person that he is capable of being- not the hellion- that he is being in this stage of his life.


I love him. Always.


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2 comments:

  1. Ruthie said...Oh my goodness, what did the precious little guy do??? You have the most beautiful way with words...wish I would have written out my feelings many years ago, maybe I would have felt better. I remember some 20 years ago giving one of my sons a card saying..I don't always like you, but I always LOVE you and the other son being jealous of the card and saying, "I am going to start being badder, so I can get a card like that!" LOL memories!

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  2. Okay momma, now I'm crying. You are such a fabulous mom. Don't worry about what "other" people think. Who likes "other" people anyway? They are probably those same people who tell us pregnant girls horror stories about their 4 day labor marathons, and how you "can't even imagine how bad it will hurt." Helpful? No. But just like the labor pain, this too shall pass. And the important people know how very, very precious OMG really is. And since you're almost Catholic now, just think about the years patiently loving Owie is shaving off your purgatory time. I kid, I kid!!! ;) But seriously, it's worth a shot, right?

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